Speak friend and enter.

Oh my long neglected blog!

[misguided statements of intent concerning regular updates]

[caption of my current life situation]

Well, thats done, thank you for staying with me through all the regular its-been-forever update stuff. My true purpose for beginning this entry (ever so many pages ago) is to record some thoughts I'd had concerning the subject matter. Oh, and the impetus for this ramble is here: http://thefetteredheart.com/2008/03/25/a-letter-to-presbymergent/

I have nothing in particular for or against the presbymergent by the way. I quite like Presbyterians, I would go so far as to say that I identify with them more strongly than any other denomination or religion I've come across. Partially because of their (sometime) emphasis on scholarship. In any case I'm not sure what exactly emerges from a presbyterian, other than the regular of course, but I expect that like every other religion/denomination/movement there are things I agree and disagree with. The point is, the post was just the station for this train of thought.

I think I understand why people like to join movements and "sell out to the cause", but a part of me always thinks its a cop-out. It seems to me far easier to claim someone else's views and beliefs and champion them than it is to develop your own.

[digress] I don't mean re-inventing the wheel, or deciding on a whim that we're all from some distant planet and were once re-vitalized in a volcano. Not that it doesn't make for a great story. I have my own beliefs that some probably think are crazy, its a whole other topic, but suffice it to say that I believe in Christ, what he said, and taught, and lived(s), *who* he is, but I have major ongoing issues with the religion that sprung up around it, and especially with some of the people who sprung up around the religion ;-). [/digression]

Back to the main thread, I think its somehow wired in us, either socially or maybe just part of our nature, to want to be part of something exclusive. Some group bound together by shared hardship that outsiders just can't understand. Something that lets us feel just a little bit better than those around us. There are numerous examples, elite military groups, cults, sororities/fraternities, it might even play a part in something like Stockholm's syndrome. In short, we loves us some martyrs. We aspire to be them, misunderstood, rejected, beautiful.

Of course I'm as guilty of this as anyone else, I embrace my identity as a nerd, my status as an independent thinker. I've spoken at length with a close friend about how college created that kind of bond in us. I'm not even sure that its a bad thing, just something to be aware of. Recognize it in yourself, be aware of what you're feeling and why, and be certain that you're bonding with whatever cause or organization because you actually agree with its tenets.

So here are some random thoughts I've been mulling over for a long time, on the subject of men and women. Some of them are more questions than anything else, though I'm sure you won't have to look hard for my opinion in most of them. As a note all musings deal with committed monogamous relationships, i.e. the spirit of marriage if not the precisely legal definition of it. There are other alternatives but I'm not interested in them so I don't bother pondering them.

1) At what point did sex become a bargaining chip? I can't speak from personal experience but it is far too prevalent in conversation, comedy, etc to be unfounded. All of sexuality is treated the same way for that matter, why else would sex sell? Are we really so much the animal that we allow ourselves to be manipulated like that? I think the simple and frustrating answer is yes. Of course there's the whole "world's oldest profession" thing, but really, at some point shouldn't we move on?

2) Why does everyone feel the need to play games? I have never seen anything good come out of it. People go into relationships (generally their first) sincere and trusting, and thanks to whomever it is of whichever gender (generally not their first) playing games an generally being/doing things best described with expletives people get hurt. Being hurt they wish to avoid future hurt, so they hide their heart away and hurt someone else. And so it goes to the point where someone who is sincere and honest but not naive is bizarre and strange, more likely to be shunned than accepted.

3) Because every argument should have five points, err.. three. Moderately unrelated to points one and two, but not entirely. Stereotypes exist because they are basically true. They are useful tools as far as they go. They are completely useless, misleading and wrong beyond that point. That point is the line between the group and the individual. They can give you an idea of what to expect from an individual but can tell you absolutely nothing for certain about any one.

5) Every individual is ultimately responsible for their own actions. It does not matter who did what to whom when, your actions are your own. You may be praised for, forgiven of, condemned because, or completely ignored because of your actions, but they are always yours to make.

note: lack of action is an action

Agree? Disagree? let me know, I enjoy discussion.

hope
hope is a seed
hope is that in us, which lives
and dies
and lives again

the barren desert
the salted plain
hope lives

hope dies
when fufilled
and then
for a time only

if hope dies indeed
what remains?

-Paul

My poor neglected blog...
I've been making time for reading again, its amazing how much I've missed it. I finished re-reading Papillion a day or two ago, its such an amazing book, and a true story, which makes it better somehow. Just started on Fahrenheit 451 today and I'm about half way through, its very good and much more sobering and thought provoking than I expected. The first half was so depressing I almost stopped reading, because all the things they were talking about were way too close to true. The changes in the way various forms of media are used and the increasing emphasis on a large volume of low quality material and the increasing trend towards "safe" and "comfortable" topics. I'm curious to see how it ends. In any case below is the latest devotional, enjoy.


Dear God, How do I know your will for my life?

That is a question I struggle with myself. When we were marking the questions we most wanted to hear about, this is one of the ones I chose. I think that, for me, the main reason I struggle with this question so much is that I don’t like the answer. I want a pat answer. A “to do” list of ways to act and some beautiful goal my life is supposed to achieve. Something challenging but not impossible, something truly exceptional but not uncomfortable. All of that delivered on a silver platter so I don’t have to think about it, so I can just do. But it doesn’t work that way. No matter how much I run from it I know in my heart that the only way to learn God’s will for my life is to seek it. That is hard for me, I don’t want to put the time and effort into seeking, I don’t want to risk my own will and my own desires. Its tough… but seeking my own will leaves me hollow, seeking His satisfies. Still I struggle, still I seek my own way. That may be the hardest part, learning God’s will isn’t a once and done kind of thing. Its something you have to work at every day, and every hour, and every minute. I know it’s difficult, but I also know that the rewards are beyond measuring.

Acts 17:27-28 “that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us; for in Him we live and move and exist”

I got a lot of comments on my costume throughout the day, I couldn't help thinking "this is not a costume, the costume is what I wear all the rest of the year". A good day, if very very long. 

This is a bench that was located outside the visitor's center in Huntly. I belive the quote to be George MacDonald but I haven't actually checked it. Note, this picture has also been photoshopped. Whats wrong with this picture? :-p  

I both like and dislike this one.

Lost Sheep

Luke 15: 7 “I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance”

What is at work here? What is God getting at? I think most people, most religious people, most Christians, love to gloss over this verse. We don’t like it. It is contrary to what we, our human selves, hold to be true and right. It is offensive. “There will be more joy in heaven…” Does that not offend you? Is all the hard work and sacrifice that a follower of Christ is called to less pleasing to God than a single act of repentance? The simple and difficult answer is apparently yes. How is that possible? Does all of our devotion, all of the good things we’ve done in God’s name, do they all earn us nothing? Again, the answer is apparently not. Offended yet? It upsets my whole sense of propriety. Those who get the rewards are those who earn them. Harder work and stronger devotion lead to better rewards. But in the kingdom of heaven this is not so.

The parable of the workers in the field illustrates this as well (Matthew 20:1-16). In this parable the owner of a field hires men to work in his field at five different times throughout the day, from early in the morning till just before the work day ended. At the end of the day, each group of workers received the same wage. Those who worked all day and endured the full heat of the sun received the same pay as those who worked only a single hour as the sun was setting. Those workers who had been in the fields since morning doubtlessly wondered the same thing that we do today. How does that make sense? Is that fair? Why? One word. Gratitude. Come again? I think the point is, that the Kingdom of Heaven is not an earthly kingdom. You don’t work for God, serve Him, and devote your life to Him because doing so will earn you a larger prize. The prize is freely given; all works, sacrifices, and devotions must spring from gratitude to a being that loves you enough to save you.

There is only one prize, only one gift, and that gift is given to every follower of Christ, regardless of when they were called to work in the fields. We don’t like that though, motivation by gratitude is too open ended, there is no “enough”, no finish line; it doesn’t fit within our earthly kingdom of heaven, so it is ignored. Neither can we accept that all our work and devotion means less than the single repentant act of a “lost sheep”. But that is the truth. To we whom have been given everything, everything is the only possible repayment. Gratitude is the only thing in the world that will allow you to give everything you have and be happy that you receive nothing in return.